In my previous post, I mentioned that I’m over £2,000 in debt, unemployed, and currently have no real direction in my life.
This post is about how I ended up in this situation.
It’s easy to assume that my financial difficulties are simply the result of carelessness, and to be honest, in some ways, that’s true.
But it didn’t happen overnight. It was a combination of making impulsive decisions, ongoing mental health issues, and just not having the right mindset.
Growing Up With Autism and ADHD
I was diagnosed with high-functioning autism at the age of four.
As of writing this, I’ve not received a formal diagnosis of ADHD, but I’m currently going through the assessment process.
Because of my autism, I spent most of my school life in a special educational needs (SEN) school.
Academically I was capable, but I struggled with the social and emotional aspects, which made my brief time in mainstream education very overwhelming.
While I was in mainstream education, I didn’t have many friends, and got bullied a lot because I was different, and, quite frankly, the school I attended at that time didn’t know how to support me.
My Education Struggles
The problem with my SEN school was that they focused more on providing social and emotional support, as well as teaching basic life skills, and less on the academic side.
That support was essential for me, but I wasn’t academically challenged.
I was only given the opportunity to take four GCSEs, and English wasn’t one of them.
This made it really difficult for me to get into a career or higher education, as many employers and learning providers require at least a Grade C/4 in both Maths and English.
After leaving school, I did manage to earn top marks in a music performance diploma, but the entry onto the course was based on passing an audition, not academic grades.
I returned to college in 2022 to take my Maths and English GCSEs, but I dropped out after three months. More recently I’ve also dropped out of an online coding course and an accounting course.
I’ve always struggled to stay focused and motivated, and to regulate my emotions, challenges that have also followed me into adulthood and my working life.
My Struggles So Far With Work
Over the years, I’ve had a lot of jobs in several sectors.
I’ve worked in bars, kitchens, warehouses, and at a supermarket, jobs that are often classed as ‘unskilled’ and don’t need qualifications.
My longest job lasted just under three years. A few others lasted a year or two, but most of my jobs lasted just a few months.
I always started with good intentions and a positive attitude, but would eventually get overwhelmed by pressure and demands, become mentally exhausted, and quit.
Traditional work environments often aren’t built with neurodivergent people in mind.
The structure, pace, social expectations and rigid schedules often become too much for me. I also experienced sensory overload, especially in noisy, busy environments.
I found myself in an endless cycle: find a job, save money, get overwhelmed and quit, live on benefits and savings for a bit, then start again.
How I Fell Into Debt
My debt essentially came from a couple of impulsive decisions. It all started when my mum passed away in 2023.
At the time, I was living on the other side of the city from most of my family. I’d moved there in 2018 to be closer to my mum because she was ill.
After she died, I left my flat, quit my job and moved back across the city to live with my dad and step-mum, and closer to the rest of my family. I was grieving, isolated, and needed to be around people I cared about, and I needed it to happen quickly. It felt like the right move at the time.
A few months later, I got a part-time job (another short-lived job) and booked a six day trip to Amsterdam with my girlfriend, something to look forward to after a rough year. I definitely needed it.
The First Impulsive Decision
I paid for the deposit, but after leaving the job, I couldn’t afford the remaining payments. I didn’t want to cancel the holiday.
So to pay for it, I sent £1,000 to my girlfriend via PayPal (the payment method on my PayPal was my American Express credit card).
There were no fees, either with PayPal or my credit card. She sent the money back to my bank account, and that paid for the rest of the trip.
I then moved the balance to a 0% interest balance transfer card, paying only a small transfer fee.
The Second Impulsive Decision
Eventually, I became desperate to move out of my dad and step-mum’s house. I’d been there for over a year and needed my own space, and it was starting to affect my mental health.
Fortunately at the time, my balance transfer card had another interest-free promotion, so I repeated the same method as before.
That increased my debt to over £2,000, but gave me enough cash to put a deposit down for a room in a shared house. I also bought a few essentials on credit: a mini-fridge, mini-freezer, air fryer, and a new mattress.
My total debt reached around £2,500, but I got a short-term job and managed to reduce it to just over £2,000.
Disclaimer: I don’t recommend using the credit card method described above. It worked for me at the time, but it more than likely violates lenders’ terms and could backfire. I’m merely sharing this for transparency, not as financial advice.
My Turning Point
Lately, I’ve been thinking, I’m just surviving. Existing. Getting by.
I don’t want to live like this, waiting for things to change. Because they won’t, I have to do something about it.
The constant cycle of stopping and starting, falling behind, remaining stuck, I’m done with it.
I don’t want to wake up in five years in the same place, as the same person. I want to reach my full potential.
What’s Next
Starting PoundWise Journey and writing this post is me stating my intention to make changes.
I’m doing this publicly to hold myself accountable. But more than that, I want to prove to myself that I can persevere and overcome the obstacles that I’ve mentioned in this post.
This blog will document every step of my journey. I’ll share my wins, my setbacks, the lessons I learn and how I apply them.
I’ll be posting as regularly as I can, and I hope you can follow along on my journey.